In preparation for a get together, I decided to make Monkey Bread. I'd been eyeing this recipe for quite some time, but had talked myself out of it for a variety of reasons, like time and inexperience. At 8 o'clock on a Friday night, I has a fuck-it moment and I went for it.
As with every single recipe I ever do, I am plagued with doubt. The dough seemed too sticky and then too dry. I ran out of melted butter and used a bundt pan that is screaming to be replaced. I literally do this to myself each time I bake, yet 90% of my endeavors turn out delicious.
Thankfully the Monkey Bread was part of the 90%...I think.
After letting the dough rise twice and baking it, the inversion turned out fine. The cream cheese glaze looked and tasted great. I stole a piece to 'make sure it's done,' and god damn it was tasty. About an hour after finishing it, about 2am, it was time for bed. The next day would consist of being with great people who would eat the bread and say 'yay.'
Nope! Instead I woke up with a cold. Boyfriend went and I have yet to hear how well the Monkey Bread was received. My mucusy invaders is also why this post is both long and uncharacteristically dull. Mucus acts as a fun filter, both inbound and outbound. Booooo!
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Absentee
My last post consisted of somewhat of an online existential breakdown. Why am I here? Does anyone like me? WAAAAH! I then fell off the face of the earth, likely leaving readers to think that I had committed digital suicide and was now living in a hole somewhere.
Not true.
Instead, two very significant things happened in my life that completely derailed both blogging and baking (insert sad face here). The first distraction happened shortly after New Years. I had just bought myself the first car I've had in over 4 years and everything was coming up Nasty. I was finishing up at work one day when boyfriend called and said, "You need to come home. We've been robbed." After gathering my things, I come home to find the place completely trashed. Both of our computers were gone, my camera, my bike, and a lot of jewelry. Our dining room and bedroom were hit hardest with things strewn everywhere. Through anger and tears, I did manage to crack a smile when I saw that my $400 stand mixer was still sitting under the worktable in the kitchen.
This is called perspective.
While the jewelry stings because some of it was given to me by my grandmother, it is really the bike that still hurts. I loved and hated that bike. I had bled and sweat on that bike. I had felt every single bump of every road I'd traveled on its solid steel frame. It took thighs of a similar construction, which it gave me, to get the thing uphill from a dead stop. But it was my bike. I had fallen and soared and smiled and cried on that bike. It's gone and it breaks my heart. Having said that, none of my bakeware was taken. None of my knitting gear was taken. Our cat was not hurt or lost. Boyfriend's art was not touched. Neither of us were hurt.
This is again called perspective.
The robbery did lead us to realize that, while adorable, our cat is a terrible theft deterrent. So, we got this guy.
Meet Conjunctivitis Clyde! Our 1 year old American Bulldog who farts and licks things incessantly. He's perfect for our home and we're quite fond of him. The cat is less than impressed, but she's slowly coming around to the thought of something bigger and hairier than her hanging out around the house.
Between the robbery, insurance, and a new dog, things have been hectic here at home. But there was yet another distraction.
I WENT TO FUCKING ISTANBUL!!!!
That's right, Turkey, with lamb and Bosphorus and delight and other really fantastic Turkish things. I had been planning this trip for work for about 2 months along with some partners connected with the government over there. As part of my job, I lead a delegation to Istanbul Fashion Week. Seriously. The planning was mayhem and the trip was exhausting, but it was absolutely amazing AND I get to go back in May. Fuckin eh, right?
So this is why I have been absent. There has been almost no baking, but that is going to change. I plan on making Monkey Bread this upcoming week and will update accordingly. For all those who dealt with my digital existential issues, thank you. It means the world to me:)
Not true.
Instead, two very significant things happened in my life that completely derailed both blogging and baking (insert sad face here). The first distraction happened shortly after New Years. I had just bought myself the first car I've had in over 4 years and everything was coming up Nasty. I was finishing up at work one day when boyfriend called and said, "You need to come home. We've been robbed." After gathering my things, I come home to find the place completely trashed. Both of our computers were gone, my camera, my bike, and a lot of jewelry. Our dining room and bedroom were hit hardest with things strewn everywhere. Through anger and tears, I did manage to crack a smile when I saw that my $400 stand mixer was still sitting under the worktable in the kitchen.
This is called perspective.
While the jewelry stings because some of it was given to me by my grandmother, it is really the bike that still hurts. I loved and hated that bike. I had bled and sweat on that bike. I had felt every single bump of every road I'd traveled on its solid steel frame. It took thighs of a similar construction, which it gave me, to get the thing uphill from a dead stop. But it was my bike. I had fallen and soared and smiled and cried on that bike. It's gone and it breaks my heart. Having said that, none of my bakeware was taken. None of my knitting gear was taken. Our cat was not hurt or lost. Boyfriend's art was not touched. Neither of us were hurt.
This is again called perspective.
The robbery did lead us to realize that, while adorable, our cat is a terrible theft deterrent. So, we got this guy.
Between the robbery, insurance, and a new dog, things have been hectic here at home. But there was yet another distraction.
I WENT TO FUCKING ISTANBUL!!!!
That's right, Turkey, with lamb and Bosphorus and delight and other really fantastic Turkish things. I had been planning this trip for work for about 2 months along with some partners connected with the government over there. As part of my job, I lead a delegation to Istanbul Fashion Week. Seriously. The planning was mayhem and the trip was exhausting, but it was absolutely amazing AND I get to go back in May. Fuckin eh, right?
So this is why I have been absent. There has been almost no baking, but that is going to change. I plan on making Monkey Bread this upcoming week and will update accordingly. For all those who dealt with my digital existential issues, thank you. It means the world to me:)
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Presentation vs. Flavor Explosion
Living in Michigan has it's up and down sides. There is fantastic produce, the people are kind, and hiking is great here. Also there are few jobs, a strange obsession with cars, and a higher-than-normal occurrence of allergies. For boyfriend and I, however, Michigan also means great distance between us and our families. This is both a positive and a negative. While we get to have our run of the place without worrying what our mothers will think of the state of our bathroom, we also have to travel for at least a day to see our families. In 2009 we went to Minnesota and spent Christmas there. It was lovely, but extremely busy with running around the Twin Cities seeing everyone we ever possibly knew while living there. In 2010, we went to Nova Scotia to spend Christmas with my dad and step-mom. It was much more relaxed and while we had a great time, taking an entire day to fly there and another day to fly back was a bit much. So for 2011, we decided to stay in Michigan for the holiday. Knowing that I would have an entire week off, my only option was to go batshit crazy and bake something really out of hand. So I decided to make this.
You see those layers? That spike of caramel? See how perfect it is? I wanted to do that. I wanted a challenge, something that would help bring my baking to the next level.
Looking at the recipe, I knew I would have to spread this out over a couple of days. On day one, I started with the sables. The recipe is very easy, but the dough was very crumbly. This concerned me as I rolled it out and then as I baked the cookies. They turned out wonderfully though. Buttery and delicious, definitely worth eating on their own. I was off to a great start and feeling confident, I looked at boyfriend and declared that all I had to do was "two things" on Christmas day. Ha.
Back tracking just a little, I was unable to find cranberries anywhere. Apparently the only time of year when you can get them is Thanksgiving and so if you want anything cranberry for Christmas, buy early and store them. This was little issue in the end as raspberries were on sale and sounded great with maple and walnut.
On Christmas day, I began making the raspberry gelee. I had started out thinking that reducing the berries down would only take 20-30 minutes. Again, ha. Not only did the raspberries take over an hour, but I had to strain them twice to get all the berries out. More importantly, the gelee would not thicken enough. I doubled the gelatin in the god damn thing and still it was runny. I reached my 'fuck it' stage and put it in the fridge to cool.
With the sables and gelee finished, all that was left was for me to make the mousse. Sounds easy enough, right? Well I had never made mousse before and had no fucking idea what I was doing. My first try resulted in scrambled maple eggs, leaving me without enough maple syrup for the finishing glaze. My second try took over an hour (again) and seemed very runny. Looking at the recipe, I was to halve the mousse and incorporate some of the gelee into one half of it. I did this and it destroyed any hopes I had of achieving a presentation even remotely close to what is seen in the recipe.
After letting everything cool, I started assembling. First the maple mousse (which turned out great), then the gelee (which was runny), then the mousse/gelee mix (which was a terrible consistency), and then topped with the sables that were not resting on top of the other ingredients like I had hoped. I put the little bastards in the freezer and dipped some walnuts in caramel to give the semblance of a fine dining dessert.
After chilling in the freezer, I removed the monstrosities and ran a knife around the edges. I then inverted and...nothing. I ran the knife again and...nothing. I slapped the dish a few times to loosen the dessert out of the molds and...nothing. My presentation was officially ruined. I served them to boyfriend and myself in their cooling dishes with the sables on top and the caramel walnuts on the side. The dessert was delicious. I mean really phenomenal, but I couldn't get the presentation right and that is the story of my baking.
I can bake just about anything. I don't mean that to sound arrogant or conceited. I mean that I have a love and a skill to make delicious baked goods, BUT I am terrible with my presentation. I'm not a visually artistic person. I'm a writer by trade and so while I would love nothing more than to be able to make beautiful baked goods, I am left making ones that taste wonderful but look like Sloth from The Goonies made them.
It doesn't matter though, because people will still eat and love what I make. Now if only I could incorporate a pirate ship...
You see those layers? That spike of caramel? See how perfect it is? I wanted to do that. I wanted a challenge, something that would help bring my baking to the next level.
Looking at the recipe, I knew I would have to spread this out over a couple of days. On day one, I started with the sables. The recipe is very easy, but the dough was very crumbly. This concerned me as I rolled it out and then as I baked the cookies. They turned out wonderfully though. Buttery and delicious, definitely worth eating on their own. I was off to a great start and feeling confident, I looked at boyfriend and declared that all I had to do was "two things" on Christmas day. Ha.
Back tracking just a little, I was unable to find cranberries anywhere. Apparently the only time of year when you can get them is Thanksgiving and so if you want anything cranberry for Christmas, buy early and store them. This was little issue in the end as raspberries were on sale and sounded great with maple and walnut.
On Christmas day, I began making the raspberry gelee. I had started out thinking that reducing the berries down would only take 20-30 minutes. Again, ha. Not only did the raspberries take over an hour, but I had to strain them twice to get all the berries out. More importantly, the gelee would not thicken enough. I doubled the gelatin in the god damn thing and still it was runny. I reached my 'fuck it' stage and put it in the fridge to cool.
With the sables and gelee finished, all that was left was for me to make the mousse. Sounds easy enough, right? Well I had never made mousse before and had no fucking idea what I was doing. My first try resulted in scrambled maple eggs, leaving me without enough maple syrup for the finishing glaze. My second try took over an hour (again) and seemed very runny. Looking at the recipe, I was to halve the mousse and incorporate some of the gelee into one half of it. I did this and it destroyed any hopes I had of achieving a presentation even remotely close to what is seen in the recipe.
After letting everything cool, I started assembling. First the maple mousse (which turned out great), then the gelee (which was runny), then the mousse/gelee mix (which was a terrible consistency), and then topped with the sables that were not resting on top of the other ingredients like I had hoped. I put the little bastards in the freezer and dipped some walnuts in caramel to give the semblance of a fine dining dessert.
After chilling in the freezer, I removed the monstrosities and ran a knife around the edges. I then inverted and...nothing. I ran the knife again and...nothing. I slapped the dish a few times to loosen the dessert out of the molds and...nothing. My presentation was officially ruined. I served them to boyfriend and myself in their cooling dishes with the sables on top and the caramel walnuts on the side. The dessert was delicious. I mean really phenomenal, but I couldn't get the presentation right and that is the story of my baking.
I can bake just about anything. I don't mean that to sound arrogant or conceited. I mean that I have a love and a skill to make delicious baked goods, BUT I am terrible with my presentation. I'm not a visually artistic person. I'm a writer by trade and so while I would love nothing more than to be able to make beautiful baked goods, I am left making ones that taste wonderful but look like Sloth from The Goonies made them.
It doesn't matter though, because people will still eat and love what I make. Now if only I could incorporate a pirate ship...
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Zucchini bread=destroyed
I have this recipe for zucchini bread that is just fucking delicious. I mean knock your socks off good. It's moist, flavorful, and not too heavy. I've made it about 5 times now and each time it has come out perfectly. That is until recently.
We spent a grey Sunday up in Flint with some friends who we'd not seen in almost a year. We were having a great time as I was getting the bread ready. I made a slight mistake right off the bat as I'd forgotten to add the eggs. For most recipes, this isn't a big deal because the ingredients don't always have to be added in a certain order. The same is true for zucchini bread. So I just dumped it back into the mixing bowl and gave it an aggressive stir. The egg was thoroughly mixed in and in the oven she went.
Now in my kitchen, which currently houses a crap-tastic oven, this bread takes about 1 hour and 20 minutes to bake, 20 minutes longer than the recipe calls for. An hour after the bread has been in the oven at my friends' place, I take a knife and put it almost at the middle. The knife comes out clean. One would assume this means the bread is finished. That it should be left to cool, then inverted and sliced. In this case that person would be wrong.
I take the bread out and let it cool for almost an hour. I invert it, put it on a plate and start slicing. Everything is going fine until I reach about an inch past where I inserted the knife to test its done-ness. I think to myself, 'Wow, this is one moist batch!'
Right.
So I keep slicing only to find that the other half of the bread is completely raw in the middle. Quickly, I put the bread back in the pan, get it in the oven, turn it up to 350 and leave it for about 20 minutes. I then test it and it's still raw.
Ok.
So I leave it for another 5 minutes. I test it and, indeed, it is still raw.
Another 10 minutes and...raw.
At this point I have been dealing with this bread for hours and just want it over with. Everyone has finished supper and is ready to munch on some bread. At this point, there is nothing I can do to prevent the outside of this bread from burning. All I can try and do is salvage the bottom half of the bread and hope that it is cooked all the way through. So I up the oven to 375 and leave it in there for 20 minutes.
Once that 20 minutes had gone by, I knew there was no way this thing was going back in the oven. I was committed to it be finished in some capacity. I take it out, let it cool a few minutes, invert it, and...raw. Unbelievable. This thing was in the oven for about 2 hours and it's still raw in the middle. Obviously the in and out didn't help, but holy crap. I ended up throwing away the entire crust, the middle, and ending up with about 4 legitimate slices that I then cut up into bite sized nuggets of disappointment. It tasted fine, but disappointing nonetheless.
We spent a grey Sunday up in Flint with some friends who we'd not seen in almost a year. We were having a great time as I was getting the bread ready. I made a slight mistake right off the bat as I'd forgotten to add the eggs. For most recipes, this isn't a big deal because the ingredients don't always have to be added in a certain order. The same is true for zucchini bread. So I just dumped it back into the mixing bowl and gave it an aggressive stir. The egg was thoroughly mixed in and in the oven she went.
Now in my kitchen, which currently houses a crap-tastic oven, this bread takes about 1 hour and 20 minutes to bake, 20 minutes longer than the recipe calls for. An hour after the bread has been in the oven at my friends' place, I take a knife and put it almost at the middle. The knife comes out clean. One would assume this means the bread is finished. That it should be left to cool, then inverted and sliced. In this case that person would be wrong.
I take the bread out and let it cool for almost an hour. I invert it, put it on a plate and start slicing. Everything is going fine until I reach about an inch past where I inserted the knife to test its done-ness. I think to myself, 'Wow, this is one moist batch!'
Right.
So I keep slicing only to find that the other half of the bread is completely raw in the middle. Quickly, I put the bread back in the pan, get it in the oven, turn it up to 350 and leave it for about 20 minutes. I then test it and it's still raw.
Ok.
So I leave it for another 5 minutes. I test it and, indeed, it is still raw.
Another 10 minutes and...raw.
At this point I have been dealing with this bread for hours and just want it over with. Everyone has finished supper and is ready to munch on some bread. At this point, there is nothing I can do to prevent the outside of this bread from burning. All I can try and do is salvage the bottom half of the bread and hope that it is cooked all the way through. So I up the oven to 375 and leave it in there for 20 minutes.
Once that 20 minutes had gone by, I knew there was no way this thing was going back in the oven. I was committed to it be finished in some capacity. I take it out, let it cool a few minutes, invert it, and...raw. Unbelievable. This thing was in the oven for about 2 hours and it's still raw in the middle. Obviously the in and out didn't help, but holy crap. I ended up throwing away the entire crust, the middle, and ending up with about 4 legitimate slices that I then cut up into bite sized nuggets of disappointment. It tasted fine, but disappointing nonetheless.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
A Rude Classic, Does Anyone Read This Damn Thing?
It's pretty obvious that I have taken a long hiatus from this blog and it has been for a multitude of reasons. Let me throw some bullet points at you:
Ritz are delicious and so I'll leave you with that.
- Taking pictures while baking is annoying. I have to stop what I'm doing, wash my hands, and take a bunch of pictures. This has become increasingly difficult as I have taken on more complex recipes that are very time and temperature sensitive while also requiring constant stirring.
- I'm lazy.
- I don't know if anyone reads this.
Ritz are delicious and so I'll leave you with that.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Most of you out there know that I am a very skilled baker, who is also partnered up with a very skilled chef. While my talents have come from practice at home, my partner's come from 17 years of cooking experience ranging from mom and pop Italian to fine dining and just about everything in between. The consequence of this is delicious food, a kitchen that is always in a state of disrepair, and a fat intake that requires an obscene amount of exercise in order to avoid needing one of those rascals.
DIGRESSION
Because of our eating habits, I typically end of biking to work and back. Round trip, this equates to about 12 miles a day. Do that three times and you're at 36 miles, than add on any rides we might take for fun. I also do yoga, but that has little to do with this tangent.
I was biking home the other day after a pretty long day at work, over 9 hours if I remember correctly. I almost always ride on the street with the exception of 3 blocks. This particular road is 4 lanes of one-way traffic, heavy traffic that also has numerous turn lanes. It is a brief gauntlet that scares the bejesus out of me and so I opt for the sidewalk. On this particular day, I saw a man riding on the same sidewalk coming in the opposite direction. He was in a rascal and, without falling into anger-induced stereotypes, let's just say he did not signal that he was in this mobile chair due to glandular problems. I say this as someone who knows people with such ailments who have to use motorized wheelchairs and have articulated to me how to spot those who simply lead an unhealthy lifestyle. Now, I usually wouldn't pay much attention to this except that he, well, aimed for me. No joke. The son of a bitch started grunting and actually tried to run me into heavy traffic. What the hell?!
GET BACK ON TRACK
One night a few months ago, some of the more annoying people we know paid us a visit. These guys in fact:
We decided to make the best of their company and wow them with our culinary skills. Well, it was more my partner who was riding the Wow train. I was just excited to eat some good food. We began with a little of this:
Which was quickly follow by this:
With a touch of that:
Et voila! you have this:
DIGRESSION
Back in 2009, my partner cooked for me for the first time. The relationship was new, in fact it was still "dating" and this was really the first thing either of us did to show our affection for each other He made a rare New York Strip Steak with a blue cheese sauce on top of garlic mashed potatoes and asparagus. As I was eating it, he asked me what I thought. All I could say was, "I'm in trouble." To which he replied, "Yes. Yes you are." Almost three years later, he still has my stomach and my heart wrapped around his finger.
STOP BEING CUTE AND GET ON WITH IT!
After eating my partner's perfectly seared scallops, delicious mashed potatoes, and wonderfully crisp asparagus, I felt disappointed in what I was going to make...popovers.
Really? I can't believe I just let him show me up like that!
Thankfully, because the main course was so hefty, a light and airy dessert was just what the people wanted. So they got it:
Let's be real here, that looks pretty damn cute.
Originally I wasn't sure what to do for the topping. The most intrusive of the two guests, Captain Red Shirt whom I suspect is a commie, piped up and suggested doing a simple yet delicious chocolate sauce. He gave me his recipe, incorporating a secret ingredient that proved most delectable. Thank you, commie bastard!
The result was...
Light. Airy. Chocolaty. Delicious.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
I will kill you
A good friend of ours, in fact...
It might look like slop, but this shit is tasty!
So to J and Lady Generous, thank you for everything. I hope to see you both again soon!
...this guy
...recently moved home to New Orleans. He, J, is a great guy and an even better friend. He's someone with whom you can get into a shouting match during a heated debate and then have a great time laughing about a sophomoric joke the next day. In gratitude for all he'd done for us, I decided to surprise him with real, traditional Louisiana Bread Pudding. So I called in some favors from...
this girl.
Ignore that guy. He refused to drink with us in NOLA.
He learned his lesson after he was dropped off in the 9th Ward overnight.
That girl was an old friend of J's. She'd housed Captain No-Fun and us in NOLA before ever meeting us, so I knew I could abuse her generosity further by asking for her input on the Bread Pudding. I looked around different cookbooks and websites, deciding to combine two recipes into one. I ran it by Lady Generous and I was off to make one of the most unhealthy desserts ever wrought from my small, pale hands.
When I begin to describe this Bread Pudding to people, I am frequently met with remarks referring back to one's mother and how said mother's recipe could not be beat. Well you know what? Your mother didn't use doughnuts for the bread.
You read that right. I bought a dozen glaze doughnuts and staled them out in a bag for days, using that as the bread for the Bread Pudding. Conclusion: your mom did not know the real deal.
The first step is to soak the stale doughnuts in milk until they are nice and mushy. You can't overwork them because they'll turn into actual mush. You must walk the line while plagued with doubt.
While the doughnuts are soaking, you prepare the bourbon sauce, adding as much bourbon as you like. I, apparently, like it a lot. Once the sauce is ready, you basically add spices, eggs, sugar, vanilla, and raisins gingerly. The doughnuts are very delicate at this point and they must be treated as such in order to result in the proper fattening of loved ones.
After baking what will become the Bread Pudding, you plate it and add the bourbon sauce. None of us were prepared for how strong yet delicious this would be and so some had to wait before driving home.
It might look like slop, but this shit is tasty!
So to J and Lady Generous, thank you for everything. I hope to see you both again soon!
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